Today has just been one of those days. I'm getting really overwhelmed with school.  In my major in order to graduate you must do a university approved internship. This summer is when I'm aiming to do mine. It's a lot of tedious work like polishing my resume (multiple times), searching high and low on job sites and Google and sending out emails that I cross my fingers I get replies to. To top it all off I am officially going to be graduating a full year later. So, while a lot of my friends and peers are already prepping for graduation in May, I'm mentally preparing myself to endure a whole extra year. All of this stress is leading to a slew of questions. Am I in the right major? Is my resume strong enough to land a good internship? Do I even know enough to be someones intern? Will I ever graduate? And so on, and so forth.  Basically I'm just feeling really stressed and tired lately and it's only February.

I'm just trying to keep a positive attitude and push through any stress. It's only the beginning of the semester still, so there's still time for many more ups and downs! But, for tonight I'm going to give in to my feelings and cuddle with Gidget and drift off into dreamland so I can hopefully give my mind a break.

It's only Tuesday?

It's Tuesday and my mind is finally registering that it's the week and not the weekend. My weekend was pretty full of fun stuff. Friday night the boy and I went go kart racing, ate yummy pizza, drove to Ohio just to get ice cream, explored Berne, Indiana, and danced to 80's rock in the car. Saturday I got a pedicure and did a lot of unexpected (but welcome) shopping with my mom. I came out of the day with 2 dresses, 1 tunic, 3 tanks tops, 1 shirt, 3 pairs of sandles, 1 pair of leopard print flats, and a pair of pink and white Nike Shox that I love for working out. It was a good shopping day. That night Joe and I went go karting again with our friends Adam and Carlie and afterwards we we hung out with Mike and Emily. Sunday I cleaned and did laundry most of the day before going to a hockey game with the boyfriend and then to his mom's for dinner. I've been drowning in piles of homework and last minute papers/projects ever since.

I just have 2 papers, 2 extra credit assignments, 1 test, 1 oral exam, 2 online homework assignments, and 5 finals until I'm done with the semester next week. It seems daunting really, but I tend to be really good about pulling through at the last minute.

So there's a little update. I'll do something a little better later. I'm still out of it. I need the semester to be over pronto.

Isn't it funny how things work out

At the start of today I was literally on the verge of being sick with worry over my plans for the next academic year. For the last few weeks thoughts concerning my major, where I was going, where I would live, etc... have been swirling in my head. This week was going to be the crucial one as far as my future plans go, and having not heard back from either of the schools I applied to for transfer (Ball State and IUPUI), I began to accept that I'd most likely have no choice but to stay here (at IPFW) for the last two years of college. However, today my mom brought me a piece of mail that could totally turn everything around...an acceptance letter from IUPUI! I'm completely thrilled!

I still have a lot of thinking to do, as well as continuing to wait and see what Ball State says, and some talking about logistics with my mom. But as of right now I'm pretty much over the moon estatic and just had to share!

A Few Things

1. Amy Marie comes home today! I am so excited to have my bestie back on Indiana soil and only 15 minutes away from me! I anticipate lots of sleep overs, random drives, trip or two to Chicago, excessive spending, boy creeping, trying to make new friends (again ha), cheap pizza, music in all forms, etc... If it isn't apparent, I have missed having her home quite a bit!

2. Christmas is THIS WEEK! This is my absolute favorite holiday, not only because of giving and recieving gifts (come on we all love that) but because of everthing that comes with it: winter begins, pretty snow falls, sweaters come out, Christmas lights are everywhere, hot chocolate is a must, Christmas cookies and peppermint ice cream are constants, friends and family come together. I just love it all.

3. I may have just found a keeper in my boyfriend. Just saying. :)

4. I'm beginning the application proceses to transfer out of IPFW next fall. So far I'm applying to IU, IUPUI, and Ball State, and am considering applying to more schools. I'm really excited about it, but nervous at the same time.

5. I'm loving life!

Can I freak out now???

So, the end of the semester is a close 3 weeks away and today while zoning out in spanish class as I tend to do I decided to make a list off all the papers, projects, and test studying I need to do in the next couple of weeks. My list ended at about 15 items, my head almost exploded right there on the spot. This is when my love of being a  pro procrastinator really comes to bite me in the behind. I have been blessed in my college experience the last 3 semesters to have have professors who really don't care if something is really turned in on time, just as long as it is eventually turned in. Because of this if I can't get to a paper or a shoot I push it aside and save it. These little side saved projects are now at a do or die time on top of all the usual end of the semester wrap ups. I doubt I will have any sort of normal sleep schedule for the next 18 or so days. Tis the life.

lost and found

While sitting here at work I recdieved an email from my grandpa containing an attatchment leading to an essay I wrote back in my senior year of high school. I believe this essay was to be a memoir giving a snapshot into a piece of our lives that made us who we were. I chose to write about my love of writing and what led to it being something I wanted to do for the rest of my life. In high school I was always pumped to write, but as I've gone through my first year of college I've slowly become less and less thrilled about it. Not that I don't still love it, I mean I am a journalism major, but I think when you're required to write multiple papers week after week and allow them to be brutally judged and graded it takes a toll. Anyway, after reding through my essay a year and a half later I remember why I chose to strive to make writing of some sort my career. (keep in mind this was a high school essay, so if you think it sucks give me a break!)



The Love of My Life
In a time when most of my peers were amazed by pokemon cards and being hit by game boy fever; in a time where our biggest worry was who would receive the distict honor of being the captain of the recess kickball team; in a time that consisted of mastering the skill of counting to one hundred and completing first grade level sentences; I found my one true passion in life. While it did not match the priorities of my juvenile fellow six and seven year olds, I knew in my little heart that it was something I treasured. I fell in love with the craft of writing.
My amazing first grade teacher, Miss Werth, loved the written word. She believed that even as first graders’ writing was something that would be valuable and enriching. Everyday neatly printed next to our Daily Oral Language and Daily Oral Math work was a writing prompt meant to get the tiny wheels of our brains turning. Each morning as my fellow classmates and I clambered into the back room filled with cubbies and coat hooks, I would throw my pink book bag into its assigned place and race out to my desk. Once situated I would pull out my black jumbo-sized pencil and large lined paper and begin to write works of first grade literary perfection.
One morning upon rushing to my seat, I was appalled to see the absence of my beloved writing prompt. In its place were three boldly printed words, Young Authors Contest. Anticipation rose up within my tiny body as I pondered what those three words could mean. Just when my anticipation was near its absolute peak, Miss Werth took her place near the front of the class to explain the disruption in our normal routine. What she explained to us would be the spark that started my fire.
The Young Authors Contest, as we would soon find out, was a contest designed to mold our developing brains into those of great pre-pubescent writers. Each one of us in my class would write a story, create illustrations to go with it, and submit it to be judged with hundreds of other entries from other kids in our school. The select few winners would then have the opportunity to represent our school at the Young Authors Conference, where we would receive recognition for our achievement and have the chance to read our written masterpieces to students from all around the area. The pure thought of my two favorite entities, writing and competition, being thrown into one idea awakened a sense of adrenaline I had never yet experienced in my seven years of existence. Almost immediately I began writing feverishly the best story I could ever imagine to come up with. No piece of paper was safe, and no pencil was to be left unused-I was a little girl on a mission. Within days of receiving the news of the Young Authors Contest, I had briskly completed a story that I believed to be the best thing to come out of a New Haven Elementary School classroom, ever. Being the former over-achiever that I was, I was the first to turn in my piece of writing, and the first to be left to wait in anticipation of the announcement of the winners.
One day, four thousand years down the line, or so it seemed, Miss Werth once again stood near the front of the class. With wide eyes and gaping mouths, my peers and I leaned forward in our desks in hopes that this would be the day that we found out the results of Young Authors. While it was in fact the announcement we had been anticipating, the news was not as great at we had expected. Miss Werth congratulated us all on submitting excellent stories that were far beyond her expectations, however only two winners were picked from our class of nearly twenty-five children. With even the minor thought of failure setting in my vision became blurred, my body feverish, and my normal breathing pattern turned into a wheeze. In what seemed like slow motion Miss Werth deemed it time to announce our class winners. With the anticipation nearly unbearable, the name of the first winner; a boy named Tyler. At the sound of his name he leapt up from his desk and took a victory lap. A single chorus of “nah-nah-nah-nah-nah” could be heard bouncing from wall to wall throughout the silent room. While Tyler continued his joyous celebration around the rest of us impatient souls, our teacher began to read the second name. Just when I thought I could no longer contain myself my name was called out in front of the class. After experiencing a brief moment of shock, and allowing for all of my vitals to normalize, a sense of joy and relief swept over my body.
After receiving the news of my first Young Authors win, I became more and more determined each year to continue the winning tradition. Besides the obvious satisfaction of winning that first year, I also became more interested in taking writing seriously and developing myself into a bonafied writer. Each year, until I was no longer eligible to submit to the Young Authors Contest, I took the time to sit down and take my thoughts from my head, to my paper. And each year I was pleased to receive the news that I had once again met my own self-goal to become one the prestigious students to be chosen to be recognized for their writing. To this day I look back and reflect on my experience with the Young Authors Contest, and am proud to say that it helped me further extend my passion for writing; an enthusiasm instilled in me from the gusto Miss Werth exhibited for the craft. Without her persistent writing prompts and her belief that, even at six and seven years old, my classmates and I could make an impact through writing. Even as a senior in high school, nearly twelve years after first being introduced to the written word, a passion still burns inside me for the one thing I’ve ever truly loved.

You can what?!

I can't find the motivation to sit down and really blog lately.
I have so many different things I want to say but I lose focus real fast.
I've been super ADD lately with everything.

Maybe a quick rundown would be good???
-My Mondays have become what I like to call "Mormon Monday's". I love them so much. I go with Amy to FHE and then to Applebee's for half price apps. So good! I love going to FHE so much. Everyone's nice for the most part and I just feel like I can be myself. The missionaries are cool, Elder Stevenson is my favorite. Last night Lindsay gave me a peek-a-pooh, it's cute. I'm now prepared to fit in if I ever go to Rexburg to visit Amy.
-I have no love interest at the moment. It's both extremely nice and very frustrating all at once. I still miss him so much.
-I have become extremely skilled in the are of skipping my classes. I do it at least once a week with no remorse. I know this is bad and I know I could be getting even better grades if I went to every class. Amy warned me that once I started skipping classes I wouldn't be able to stop. She was right. My goal for the second half of this semester is to go to class every day and to devote at least an hour per night to school work. I want to get all A's and B's.
-My eyes are killing me at the moment. I ordered contacts over a month ago and they just came in today. This is due to the fact that the receptionists at Optical One tend to be a bit slow. For instance I ordered my contacts in February and to last me until they came in they gave me a pair of sample contacts. Well my contacts never came in so I called last week to chack on them and they said I was supposed to come back in for a follow up eye exam since it was a new prescription, except it wasnt.

Last night me and Amy went to the mall with the original mission of getting her new jeans and we ended up spending $50+ and $80+ respectively. Amy bought a pair of jeans,a top,earrings,a vest,white shoes,and other things I can't remember right now. My purchases included a pair of sunglasses,earrings,a sweater,a hoodie,and the same white shoes that Amy bought. After our spur of the moment shopping spree we went to Chipotle. It was absolutely delicious. I love that place.

Today in Women's Studies a lady from Planned Parenthood came in and talked to us about sti's and sex. I now know more about the sex lives and scares of some of the women in there than I ever had any desire to know.

I had coffee with Amanda Quintrel tonight. It was the first time I'd seen her since Augustish. I missed her so much. It was great to just catch up and hang out after so long.

I should really study.

back to school back to school!

Today was the first day of my second semester of my freshman year of college.
So far I like my classes, but I still have two more in the morning to go to.
My classes today were;fundamentals of speech,analyzing literature,and intro to women's studies.
Tomorrow I have religion & pop culture and intro to american politics.
I picked classes all over the place this semester, I didn't want to be bored.
I actually think I'm really going to like this semester, I'm excited.

I hung out with my friend Cameron today.
He's really good to talk to and actually have a decent meaningful conversation with.
I miss those.
I feel like there's a lack of personal relation in my life.
Alot of people that I talk to just don't really like to delve beneeth the surface and actually talk about things rather than just shoot the breeze.

I never want to do anything but sleep anymore.
I find it hard to even get out of bed in the morning for work sometimes.
It's rather odd.

I have a headache, I should really go to sleep.