Giving Thanks

I know Thanksgiving has already come and gone, but I think it's still nice to look at everything you are happy for. Even though Thanksgiving comes once a year and we're told it's meant to be a holiday to reflect on what you are the most thankful for, I really try to do it more than once a year even when it's seemingly hard to find anything to be grateful for. So, without further ado I'd like to share a few of the things I am thankful for this year.

I am thankful for...

• being a living, breathing, functioning person.
• a roof over my head and and the opportunity to further my education.
• a puppy that loves to snuggle and is always happy to see me when I get home no matter what.
• bedtime phone calls no matter how tired the person on the other end is.
• Ball State friends that I now consider real friends.
• finding that cooking and baking can be stress releasing.
• holiday cheer.
• Olive being born healthy and happy and perfect.
• Baby Poole still cooking in his mommy's stomach and being a healthy boy.
• friends who I can go days or even weeks without seeing but nothing changes.
• life lessons that may not be too pleasant now, but will pay off in the end.
• a car that works and gets me where I need to be.
• not having a car accident this year or getting a speeding ticket, both of which I've had the two years in a row previously. (Knock on wood!)
• professors that are encouraging and want you to succeed.
• people that hold doors open for you and smile when you say thank you and vice versa.
• friends that don't try to be anything else other than who they truly are.
• long, warm, summer days and rainy, cold, fall nights.
• an encouraging and supportive family.
• talks about life and the future.
• the distance between Indiana and Idaho no longer being relevant, and 3 weeks being shorter than 3 months.
• the want to be creative and crafty which will hopefully lead to the next step of actually being creative and crafty.
• learning how to live on very little money.
• 2 year old kiddies who are excited to see you every morning without fail.
• distance making the heart grow fonder, even if that distance is only an hour and a half.
• bedtime puppy cuddles.
• knowing that the future is going to be wonderful.
• ongoing curiosity.
• help when help has been needed but hasn't been wanted to be asked for.
• long walks on campus that help me think.
• love and encouragement from the places least expected.
• coffee and Diet Coke.
• a momma who still loves it every time I come home.
• a warm bed with the most comfy mattress I've ever slept on.
• having Joseph by my side for all of the ups and downs and never leaving and vice versa.
• the lone Nutella snack pack I've ever had in my life.
• spending so much time with my family over Thanksgiving.
• so so so much more!

I hope all of you had a wonderful Thanksgiving and continue to have a great next few weeks of holiday fun!

A Smoke Signal

I haven't updated my title corner of he blogosphere in so long. Partly because I feel like I have nothing worthwhile to share and also because I'm increasingly frustrated with the look of Blogger templates. In an attempt to make this place look fresh and new I have gone and messed up my whole blog and hate how it looks. Le sigh.

I really want to start running this all the time again, but I'm just not very interesting. I'm not married or having a baby. I don't make crafts or cook/bake new recipes constantly enough. I'm not upwardly fashionable or organized. I don't take photographs or make art or do anything intellectually stimulating that is worth blogging about. I'm just a 22 year old college student being swallowed up by homework and organizations and thinking ahead. A bit of an amateur cook/baker who aspires to be crafty and diy-y. I don't have a niche, just my thoughts and things to share that I enjoy.

I feel like that's how I am in real life though. No one interesting, someone people overlook. Everyone I know is so involved in their own lives and milestones that I can't help but feel like an after thought. It's very petty for me to feel this way, I know, but it's something that creeps up from time to time. I have friends that are married, engaged, starting careers, involved with new people, etc... They don't all take the initiative to hang out or talk and I feel like I do a lot of the work. I guess at 22 it's better to start zeroing in on who is worth having in your life anyway.

But, forget all of that. Negative nonsense is just that, nonsense.

If you know of a good place to find simple, clean, looking templates let me know! I'd love to fix this asap. Now I'm off for a long night of adjusting schedules, going to meetings, playing with puppies, and attempting to get some sleep.

Pumpkin Carving!

Today me, Meredith, and Kelsi decided to put our pumpkin carving skills to good use and carve some pumpkins! I've been itching to do this since September so I was super excited! I decided to carve a bow, which my boyfriend made fun of me for but I think the end result turned out cute.

Meredith, me, and Kelsi with our lovely pumpkins. (let's keep in mind that it's Sunday so don't mind my appearance ha)

my bow!

Kelsis wolf!

Meredith's face!

Me with my pretty bow pumpkin.

All photo credits go to Joseph and Miss Mere. Have I mentioned I really love fall?

A silly little vent/rant/disposal of feelings.

I've noticed more and more since I moved down here that I have the worst anxiety ever. Maybe it's just from living somewhere new where I know a minimal amount of people, or something I've been burying for awhile, but either way I don't really like it. I'm really nervous about making friends and meeting people here. It's seriously something that's constantly on my mind. I think somewhere between getting comfortable in my life back up in Fort Wayne and getting a serious boyfriend I just forgot how to make friends and meet new people. For example, tonight the communications/journalism department is having this recruitment kind of thing for organizations within your major. I am so freaked out about having to go by myself that I don't even want to go. It seems so silly to me, but I am legitimately freaked out.

On top of that I have a really big fear that I'm going to end up bugging the crap out of the friends I do have here. I know they have their own friends and things they are involved in, but I can't help feeling a little pushed to the side at times, which is probably really ridiculous of me. But, I;ve always had that fear with friends. i don't really see myself as a very memorable or important person so I;ve gotten used to friends coming and going to make room for their newer friends who seem to be much better than me. It's a little self depreciating, I know, and I really don't like that I tend to feel this way. It's just that certain events over the last year have led me to having this sudden loss of self esteem.

I know I'll get over it, as I always do. I've just done a lot of overthinking lately. I just have to keep telling myself everything will be fine and that a lot of these feelings are just in my head. I'm usually not a whiney, lame mess, as I think most people know, so please excuse this venting. I'm sure in a few hours I'll be feeling perfectly fine. Tis life.