A Few Things...

• My mind has been running like crazy the last couple of weeks. I've been so distracted and unmotivated. Sometimes it's just easier to do nothing than to try and push through the blahness.
• I'm trying really hard to grow my nails out. I always try to keep them painted so I'm less tempted to bite them.
• On that same note "Believe It, Do It" from Nicole by O.P.I is probably the the most perfect pink nail polish I've found thus far.
• I'm really getting tired of being in a long distance relationship. (Not the relationship part, but the long distance part for clarification). I know it's only an hour but it gets really irritating to not be able to do normal coupley things and not be able to see eachother when we want. Luckily we've never gone more than 2 weeks without seeing eachother but it would be nice to not have the only times we can travel be weekends and days off school/work.
• I've really been wanting to do an overhaul of my wardrobe. I feel like my style has been slacking lately. Don't tell anyone, but I've even been wearing sweats out in public like it's not big deal...this time last year I would have never ever done that. I just want to get rid of some of the extra things I don't really wear and invest in some cool, classic pieces. That and the fact that I take up my whole walk-in closet and half of the one in my guest room is getting a little out of hand.
• Usually this time of year Amy would be home and we would pretty much be attatched at the hip. This year she's busy being married and studious. I miss her so much.
• Muncie doesn't believe in snow or ice remmoval. It gets really irritating when you try to make a 5 minute drive to campus and it ends up taking 20 minutes.
• The Midwest is freezing. Currently it is a whopping 8 degrees with a windchill of -6. I'm ready for spring.
• I wish I got fun mail and not just bills/ads/coupons.
• School has really been overwhelming me lately. I always have a test to study for, papers to work on, reading to do, literature to analyze, and busy work to complete. Not to mention I'm working on some projects for the magazine pr team and trying to network more through PRSSA. I know it all goes with the college territory, but sometimes it's enough to make someone want to scream.
• My mom bought me the cutest organization/note pads. They are colorblocked by section and have a big bow at the top. The sections are: do, buy, call, email. I love them, and along with my new obsession with making to-do lists I am on the fast track to becoming super organized.

A Few Things I've Come to Realize

1. You can't make someone act the way you would expect them to act no matter how hard you try. People will only change when they want to, not when you want them to.

2. You have to find your own happiness. No one else can make you happy, and if you expect them to you will be sorely disappointed.

3. People will lie, even to your face, and even if they're your friend.

4. The more you get involved in life the less time you have to just sit down and get sucked into a good book.

5. Gossip and drama fuels way too many peoples lives. It envelopes them like a disease until they can't function without it.

6. True blue friends don't come often. When you get one you need to keep them close to you because they will be the ones who won't judge you, or ignore you, or make you feel unloved.

7. You won't always follow the path you planned for yourself. Life gets in the way. People change. You change. But, it's not always a bad thing.

8. People can be very self-absorbed and blind to others trials and emotions. It becomes all about looking out for #1.

9. Fall is even more wonderful with a hot drink in hand and when you actually take the time to take in the colors, changes, and smells.

10. If you don't love yourself it will be very hard for someone to love you the way you want them to.

Day 29

What you live for.

I live for: myself, the world, hand holding, best friends, inside jokes, the future, butterflies in the stomach, long drives, sunsets, sunrises, first kisses, last kisses, happiness, pain, a good nights sleep, wanting, missing former friends, missing former flames, meeting new people, spending quality time with myself, tough decisions, smoothies, gorgeous sunny days,playgrounds, soaking up the sun, following my heart, honesty, passion, heart to hearts, secrets, laughing until you cry, crying until you laugh, the one person that just gets you, love, joy, the journey, singing journey, making mistakes, hot coffee on a tired morning, neon post-it notes, walking barefoot, cold rainy days, cuddling, kissing, cute children, quotes, love stories, good music, inside jokes, nicknames, my future self, my future husband, my future children, my family, thoughtfulness, excitement, good days, adventures, photographs, feeling, and so much more....

Day 12

Ten things you've never done.

1. been out of the country. I went to Canada once and it was to the Niagra Falls part right accross from the US Niagra Falls part so I don't really count it, even though it was really cool.

2. become fluent in a foreign language. I took three years of Spanish in high school and I've taken two semesters of it in college, but I haven't gotten to the point where I can just speak it nonchalantly.

3. eaten an anchovie. I don't think I will ever want to either.

4. let my boyfriend hear my singing voice. I'm really weird when it comes to singing infront of people. I know I have a decent voice, as I've been told many times from back when I was in choirs all the time, but I get nervous singing one on one with people. My boyfriend hates me for it.

5. gotten in a real face to face fight with a friend. I'm afraid of confrontation. Anytime me and one of my friends have argued it always occurs in other mediums.

6. gone on a true road trip. Sure I've driven to places for little day trips or gone on vacation with my family, but I've never loaded up a car full of friends and just gone somewhere far away and random. I've always wanted to go on those road trips where you pack up the car, sing at the top of your lungs, take millions of pictures, and just have the time of your life driving with your friends. Hopefully someday soon.

7. had a true lazy day. I'm way too antsy when it comes to just laying around and doing nothing. I always say I'm going to have a lazy day and do nothing but a couple hours into it I "get bored" or anxious and feel the need to go somewhere or find someone to hang out with.

8. gone on a fancy date. I've always had this picture perfect date planned in my head where I get all dressed up to the nines and my boyfriend comes and picks me up and takes me out for a nice night on the town. Maybe someday...hint hint.

9. spent less that $100 on my hair. I know, it is ridiculous and a little sad, but I spend $120 everytime I visit my hair stylist. This includes: cut, color, and styling. It's super pricey but I'm fairly certain that if I got my hair done somewhere cheaper or even did it myself, it would have fallen out by now with the amount that I change it on a monthly basis.

10. had a cavity. Nearly 21 years down and not a bad tooth, ever. I plan on attempting to keep this streak up as long as I can.

A Few Things

1. Amy Marie comes home today! I am so excited to have my bestie back on Indiana soil and only 15 minutes away from me! I anticipate lots of sleep overs, random drives, trip or two to Chicago, excessive spending, boy creeping, trying to make new friends (again ha), cheap pizza, music in all forms, etc... If it isn't apparent, I have missed having her home quite a bit!

2. Christmas is THIS WEEK! This is my absolute favorite holiday, not only because of giving and recieving gifts (come on we all love that) but because of everthing that comes with it: winter begins, pretty snow falls, sweaters come out, Christmas lights are everywhere, hot chocolate is a must, Christmas cookies and peppermint ice cream are constants, friends and family come together. I just love it all.

3. I may have just found a keeper in my boyfriend. Just saying. :)

4. I'm beginning the application proceses to transfer out of IPFW next fall. So far I'm applying to IU, IUPUI, and Ball State, and am considering applying to more schools. I'm really excited about it, but nervous at the same time.

5. I'm loving life!

Let the countdowns begin!

4 days until Meredith Grace (should be) comes home!

5 days until Chicago!

7 days until Amy Marie comes home!

10 days until Christmas Eve/Christmas!

17 days until New Years Eve/2010!

Needy girl

I need time off.
I need twenty more dollars.
I need groceries.
I need to pay my rent.
I need to do laundry.
I need UPS to pick up Amy Marie's over due package.
I need an oil change.
I need to apply for schools for next year.
I need to do laundry.
I need to see some new faces.
I need to reavaluate my major.
I need to focus.
I need to clean my living room and kitchen.
I need to take a drive.
I need to cuddle.
I need to take a drive.
I need new music.
I need my besties here.
I need my cellular device to actually work correctly.
I need a home cooked meal.
I need to do all the things I keep telling myself I'm going to do.
I need to stop being scared.
I need a hug.
I need a kiss.
I need words of encouragement.
I need inspiration.
I need to stop nibbling at my nails.
I need to clean my room.
I need a decent bed time.
The majority of these are probably actually wants, but I don't care. I feel like being needy right now.

H A P P Y

Lately I have been feeling very down and out. Very lonely. Very not myself. Very discontent. However, instead of dwelling on it I think it is much better to think about and appreciate the things that bring me joy. So, with an idea from rockstar diaries, I present to you my happy list.

15 Things That Make Me Terribly Happy

in no particular order

1. Everything that has to do with fall.
2. Forehead kisses.
3. The smell before rain.
4. Bright lipstick. (even if I'm too chicken to wear it myself)
4. The feeling you get right after your first kiss with someone new.
5. Little, thoughtful, texts and messages from friends just to tell you they love you, and returning the favor.
6. Getting completely sucked into a good book.
7. Genuine and meaningful compliments.
8. Watching the sunrise over the ocean with sleepy eyes and sand between my toes.
9. Sappy love stories ala The Notebook and Titanic.
10. A good nights sleep.
11. Mini road trips with one of my best friends.
12. Songs that bring up a hundred different emotions at once, the kind that "get you".
13. The cute little "thinking of you" cards my grandparents send my about once a week, and have been sending me since I moved into my apartment.
14. Driving with the windows down, the music up, and the wind in my hair with the sun beating down.
15. A good hug.

things I am excited about

-getting my tax return check in the mail
-officially going to rexburg at some point during the summer of 2k9, I just need to pick when!
-having 3 days left of my freshman year of college
-weather meant for dresses
-moving out in 3 months and 12 days
-possibly joining the newspaper staff
-making my office at work my own, therefore making work at least a little more bearable
-proving everyone wrong in the bet that the next week when I start working full time again I cannot be at work by 7:30am
-the yoga kit I bought for $20 last night
-jumping on the tramp
-some of my besties coming home
-going to the drive-in
-discovering myself
-bradley hathaway
-rodeo ruby love finally coming back to fort wayne
-having more responsibilities at work
-seeing amy marie sooner than december
-selling my books back for cash money
-buying a ridiculous amount of books from half price books
-getting a cruiser bike
-caleb
-starting a legit work-out plan
-lost 80's lunch
-camping
-spending weekends at the lake
-pushing through the things that scare me
-buying a nice leatherbound journal
-my hair growing out
-writing more
-trying to meet new people
-bon fires
-indy trips

there is probably a lot more to add.

"You shouldn't overspend at the moment. Frugality is important."

Thanks fortune cookie.

I have a lot of things I want to save up for for the very near future as well as further down the road. I've been doing much better at not blowing my pay checks every week (minus the Chicago trip, but that was expected). I'm learning how to save my money in order to get things that I want rather than relying on my parents since I'm 6 months from being 20 years old. Now that I have a steady job that pays decently and I'll be working somewhere around 40 hours a week during the summer I'll have plaenty of money and opprotunity to save it.


Things I'm saving for...
1.summer clothes - granted I go shopping a lot, but I always buy things I want right then and not always things I need. I really need to purchase some dresses/dressy clothes for work,sandals/non wintery shoes,and a decent bathing suit.

2.a weekend in Chicago - me and Meredith decided a while back that we definitely wanted to go to Chicago this summer for a weekend. It's probably our favorite place to go ever and the last time we went together it was with my mom and sunt, so this time we want to go on our own. Money being saved will be needed for splitting the cost of a hotel room,gas,food,parking,random spending,and of course shopping.

2.Idaho - I've always talked about visiting Amy out in Idaho but never really had the chance or money. With the money I'll be making this summer however, I should be more than capable of getting a plane ticket to and from Idaho. I'll need money for a plane ticket and spending. Hopefully this idea will pan out for once because I really want an Idaho potato and miss Amy when she is gone for forever!

4.possibly moving out - Celia recently approached me about maybe moving into an apartment for next school year with her and a couple of other girls. The place we're looking at is a 4 bedroom apartment with individual bathrooms. a living room, and kitchen. The complex has a pool,game room,hot tub,and work out room. It's so nice, but a little more expensive than we anticipated. None the less I think it would be a good stepping stone for me since it's still in town for when I transfer schools my junior year, move into my own place, and am out of town and really completely on my own. http://www.stjoeplace.com/


on a different note, it's a beautiful day today!
and, it's almost the weekend!

shake it like a ladder to the sun

Things I loved about today.
-feeling like I actually learned something in my American Politics class as opposed to taking 5 pages of notes like I do every other day and not retaining a thing.
-my religion class was cancelled, even though I was looking forward to it. it's always nice to get a freebie day off.
-steamed broccoli and cottage cheese for lunch.
-feeling like I actually matter at my job because they let me go to get trained on the new phone system we're getting so me and another girl in the office can train everyone at work.
-talking about more than just work with Jamie.
-hearing from Tonni after months and months and getting to catch up.
-getting compliments on my polka dot tights I was nervous to wear.
-seeing Brittney at Scott's.
-cheesey vegetable soup for dinner.
-catching up with my grandparents and getting lots of hugs and kisses.
-walking to Circle K in the rain just to get slushee's with Amy and Kristin.
-"Amy, I mean Katie"..."I always mix you two up! someday I'll get it right!"
-"only 2-3 times a week? that itsn't bad at all! WAIT let me rephrase that!"
-"are we going to eat these brownies!?"
-making my gas stretch to 273.7 miles when I should have ran out of gas at 250 miles.
-texting the same person all day and all night long.
-having legit friends in my classes.
-getting home before 11.
-listening to Fleet Foxes on the way home.
not having homework and/or any studying to complete tonight.
-having a decent conversation with both of my brothers, in the same night. it really is quite a feat.

today was a good day.

You can what?!

I can't find the motivation to sit down and really blog lately.
I have so many different things I want to say but I lose focus real fast.
I've been super ADD lately with everything.

Maybe a quick rundown would be good???
-My Mondays have become what I like to call "Mormon Monday's". I love them so much. I go with Amy to FHE and then to Applebee's for half price apps. So good! I love going to FHE so much. Everyone's nice for the most part and I just feel like I can be myself. The missionaries are cool, Elder Stevenson is my favorite. Last night Lindsay gave me a peek-a-pooh, it's cute. I'm now prepared to fit in if I ever go to Rexburg to visit Amy.
-I have no love interest at the moment. It's both extremely nice and very frustrating all at once. I still miss him so much.
-I have become extremely skilled in the are of skipping my classes. I do it at least once a week with no remorse. I know this is bad and I know I could be getting even better grades if I went to every class. Amy warned me that once I started skipping classes I wouldn't be able to stop. She was right. My goal for the second half of this semester is to go to class every day and to devote at least an hour per night to school work. I want to get all A's and B's.
-My eyes are killing me at the moment. I ordered contacts over a month ago and they just came in today. This is due to the fact that the receptionists at Optical One tend to be a bit slow. For instance I ordered my contacts in February and to last me until they came in they gave me a pair of sample contacts. Well my contacts never came in so I called last week to chack on them and they said I was supposed to come back in for a follow up eye exam since it was a new prescription, except it wasnt.

Last night me and Amy went to the mall with the original mission of getting her new jeans and we ended up spending $50+ and $80+ respectively. Amy bought a pair of jeans,a top,earrings,a vest,white shoes,and other things I can't remember right now. My purchases included a pair of sunglasses,earrings,a sweater,a hoodie,and the same white shoes that Amy bought. After our spur of the moment shopping spree we went to Chipotle. It was absolutely delicious. I love that place.

Today in Women's Studies a lady from Planned Parenthood came in and talked to us about sti's and sex. I now know more about the sex lives and scares of some of the women in there than I ever had any desire to know.

I had coffee with Amanda Quintrel tonight. It was the first time I'd seen her since Augustish. I missed her so much. It was great to just catch up and hang out after so long.

I should really study.