A silly little vent/rant/disposal of feelings.

I've noticed more and more since I moved down here that I have the worst anxiety ever. Maybe it's just from living somewhere new where I know a minimal amount of people, or something I've been burying for awhile, but either way I don't really like it. I'm really nervous about making friends and meeting people here. It's seriously something that's constantly on my mind. I think somewhere between getting comfortable in my life back up in Fort Wayne and getting a serious boyfriend I just forgot how to make friends and meet new people. For example, tonight the communications/journalism department is having this recruitment kind of thing for organizations within your major. I am so freaked out about having to go by myself that I don't even want to go. It seems so silly to me, but I am legitimately freaked out.

On top of that I have a really big fear that I'm going to end up bugging the crap out of the friends I do have here. I know they have their own friends and things they are involved in, but I can't help feeling a little pushed to the side at times, which is probably really ridiculous of me. But, I;ve always had that fear with friends. i don't really see myself as a very memorable or important person so I;ve gotten used to friends coming and going to make room for their newer friends who seem to be much better than me. It's a little self depreciating, I know, and I really don't like that I tend to feel this way. It's just that certain events over the last year have led me to having this sudden loss of self esteem.

I know I'll get over it, as I always do. I've just done a lot of overthinking lately. I just have to keep telling myself everything will be fine and that a lot of these feelings are just in my head. I'm usually not a whiney, lame mess, as I think most people know, so please excuse this venting. I'm sure in a few hours I'll be feeling perfectly fine. Tis life.