A silly little vent/rant/disposal of feelings.

I've noticed more and more since I moved down here that I have the worst anxiety ever. Maybe it's just from living somewhere new where I know a minimal amount of people, or something I've been burying for awhile, but either way I don't really like it. I'm really nervous about making friends and meeting people here. It's seriously something that's constantly on my mind. I think somewhere between getting comfortable in my life back up in Fort Wayne and getting a serious boyfriend I just forgot how to make friends and meet new people. For example, tonight the communications/journalism department is having this recruitment kind of thing for organizations within your major. I am so freaked out about having to go by myself that I don't even want to go. It seems so silly to me, but I am legitimately freaked out.

On top of that I have a really big fear that I'm going to end up bugging the crap out of the friends I do have here. I know they have their own friends and things they are involved in, but I can't help feeling a little pushed to the side at times, which is probably really ridiculous of me. But, I;ve always had that fear with friends. i don't really see myself as a very memorable or important person so I;ve gotten used to friends coming and going to make room for their newer friends who seem to be much better than me. It's a little self depreciating, I know, and I really don't like that I tend to feel this way. It's just that certain events over the last year have led me to having this sudden loss of self esteem.

I know I'll get over it, as I always do. I've just done a lot of overthinking lately. I just have to keep telling myself everything will be fine and that a lot of these feelings are just in my head. I'm usually not a whiney, lame mess, as I think most people know, so please excuse this venting. I'm sure in a few hours I'll be feeling perfectly fine. Tis life.

I wish I was a southern girl...

or a country girl at the very least. I find something very appealing about southern drawls and comfort food and cowboy boots. I want it to be ok for me to drive a pick up truck. Now, if you've ever met me you know I'm obviously a city girl and I love driving my car, but for some reason I'm on a kick of wanting to drive a red pick up truck. I have no need for a truck, I don't live out in BFE, I don't haul heavy loads, I live right in the middle of Indiana's second largest city, I reside in a gated appartment complex; me having a pick up truck is the most ridiculous idea man has ever heard.  I also really want a country bumpkin  boy: cowboy hats, boots, light wash denim, southern accent, country music, spitting chew into a bottle. Yes, I think your tractor's sexy. Oh, and your incessant use of poor grammar is kind of intriguing. Pick me up in your pick up truck, take me off roading, and introduce me to your momma ASAP. While I'm at it, I want a porch swing installed right away and a perfect view of the stars, preferably by a creek of some kind.

That is all, I'm done now I blame Taylor Swift for this.

come out come out wherever you are!

it's only week one of summer and I feel like I haven't done anything but work.
I need a hobbie or a boyfriend.
Those seem to occupy peoples time pretty sufficiently.