I'm all mixed up and scattered in four different counties

I'm beginning to wonder when exactly I will stumble upon the ever elusive feeling of complete genuine happiness everyone speaks so fondly of.
Somewhere between smokey rooms and lost affection it went astray for me.
I live vicariously through past memories and experiences, never fully letting them go, but carrying with me strapped to my heart.
Often I wonder if the idea of that type of happiness is merely abstract rather than something solid and obtainable.
I thin we're all crazy and are chasing something that may be just beyond our reach.
However, I may just be being a cynic.
Maybe ideal happiness is something I can gravitate to, that I can feel rush through my lonely bones, that I can experience without that second thought of there even being a let down.
Maybe I should just open my eyes.
Maybe it's all a figment of my imagination.
Maybe my own happiness has been here with me all along, but I'm too worried with petty things to even realize it.

Sometimes I really just think too much about nothing.

I wish the temperature in Indiana wasn't the same as in the South Pole.